Lead Like a Leader

Reading John W. Gardner’s timeless speech, Personal Renewal, delivered to McKinsey & Company back in 1990, felt like a masterclass in living with purpose. It also emphasized vitality. His words resonated deeply with the core philosophy of I have on Developing Your Cool. Life is not a linear path to a singular destination. Instead, it is a dynamic, ever-evolving journey of growth, learning, and renewal. Gardner’s insights echo the principles I strive to share. Staying vibrant and curious, no matter our age or stage in life, is the secret to living fully.

One of the most impactful lessons from Gardner’s speech is his concept of “going to seed.” We’ve all seen it—individuals who, despite their accomplishments, seem to lose their spark. They become like the barnacle he described. They are “cemented to a rock.” They live out their days in monotonous comfort without purpose or passion. It’s a stark reminder that comfort can easily morph into a cage if we’re not vigilant. Life is far too precious to let our internal clock stop ticking before its time.

This aligns with my experiences and the messages I share in Develop Your Cool. The antidote to stagnation is perpetual self-renewal—a deliberate choice to keep learning, evolving, and staying curious. Gardner beautifully articulated this. He said, “Life is an endless unfolding.” If we wish it to be, it is an endless process of self-discovery. This isn’t about reaching the peak of life’s mountain. It is about embracing every challenge. Each challenge is an opportunity to explore the full extent of our capabilities.

Gardner also tackled a profound truth: self-renewal often requires battling the ghosts of our past. He noted, “We build our own prisons and serve as our own jail-keepers.” This metaphor struck a chord with me. Throughout my life and career, I’ve encountered people—myself included—who unwittingly hold onto past hurts, collaborating in their own stagnation. The journey to renewal begins with confronting these ghosts. It involves breaking free from outdated self-images. As Gardner quoted Jim Whitaker, we must realize, “You never conquer the mountain. You only conquer yourself.”

I couldn’t agree more with Gardner’s insight that learning isn’t just for the young. Some of the richest lessons in life emerge later. These lessons occur as we accumulate the mileage and the “dents in our fenders.” These dents prove we’ve been out there, taking life’s curves. It’s not about perfection; it’s about resilience and forward momentum. This aligns perfectly with my philosophy: living well isn’t about age—it’s about attitude. The spirit of Develop Your Cool is grounded in the belief that we can maintain our zest for life. We do this by staying curious, remaining open to change, and consistently choosing renewal over resignation.

Gardner’s stories of late bloomers show us incredible examples. Cervantes wrote Don Quixote at 53 while in prison. Winston Churchill found his greatest moment of leadership at 66. These stories are proof that “the door of opportunity doesn’t really close.” These stories are powerful reminders. Regardless of age, life always has more to teach us. It has more to ask of us and more to offer us. I’ve often said that the coolest people are those who keep evolving. They live with curiosity and adapt with courage. They never stop striving to uncover what life has left for them.

Gardner’s closing thought on meaning is the crown jewel of the speech. He said, “Meaning is not something you find suddenly. It’s not like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life.” This isn’t just an idea—it’s a call to action. We don’t find meaning like a lucky penny on the sidewalk. We create it through our choices and our relationships. It also comes from our triumphs and our trials. It’s about showing up every day. It’s about being genuinely interested in life. It’s also about allowing our story to unfold with each new chapter.

So, if you find yourself feeling a bit like that barnacle—stuck, comfortable, but unfulfilled—take a deep breath. You can always unstick yourself. The world is waiting. As I always say, let’s not just live—let’s live cool. Keep renewing, keep pushing, and keep finding your edge. There is always more ahead, more to learn, and more to become.

https://www.pbs.org/johngardner/sections/writings_speech_1.html